A Lagosian was driving out his brand NEW Lexus jeep, along an Obalende neighbourhood around 6:30 a.m, in early hours of an October morning in 2014, when Ebola virus was rampaging.
Suddenly, he was accosted by four fierce looking hoodlums, who crossed and blocked his jeep with their baby boy Honda car.
Their mission?
They wanted his jeep, all his money and valuables or he face the music should he refuse co-operate. If he put the jeep in reverse gear and try to escape, they promised him to shoot and make good their promise.
All of a sudden his phone rang, and rather unfortunately for the robbers, allowed him to pick it. After all they will collect the phone from him after the call. So Whats the big deal, anyway?
The Lagosian, picked the call but fortunately, the caller only flashed his line and cut off the call. But true to type, the Lagosian pretended he was still answering the call. He quickly changed his accent and intonation.
“Yes this is Addo Akuffor”
“………………………”
“Yes I ‘andastand’ you, I flew down from Liberia 'yesteday' and the feverish condition is growing from ‘bead’ to ‘werse’ I ‘hed rening stamach' all through the night and visited the ‘teilet’ several times and my body ‘wes’ bleeding”
“…………………….”
“Yes, yes I am on my way to their ‘fedrel’ Ministry of health ‘referel centar’ at Yaba as I 'wes' directed by the hotel ‘menegar’ who kept a safe distance from me.
“…………………….”
“Yes I ‘went’ to beat the terrible Nigerian 'mering treffic’ so I left the hotel room very early, all the driver’s seat is soaked with ‘blad’ and fluid from my ‘bady’ and I ‘em’ feeling very ‘feint” and weak. I 'jest' hope I will be able to make it to…..”
The next thing he heard was a loud ‘shshshshmnnnn, screech vrooooooommm!!!’ He looked around him to find out why, but saw the hoodlum’s car with all it's occupants zooming off at a neck breaking speed!
“Bastards, thunder fire you all, à sé ò tiè le" The Lagosian said, put his phone back in his pocket, and drove off.
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